The Miracle of Change (A McRoll in the REAL World Story)
by ilna
Summary: A couple of phone calls have Steve reflecting on how he's changed … and why.
**Notes:** Thanks to Mari and Sammy for the always incredible feedback and suggestions. You always know just what to say and when to say it.

Readers and REAL McRollers – Thank you for all your support as we catch our breaths after the excitement of the Wedding Marathon.

 **Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 _The Miracle of Change (A McRoll in the REAL World Story)_

Steve had a broad smile on his face, standing relaxed in the living room and talking on the phone. "We absolutely will," he said as Catherine came into the room. "Next time we're on the East Coast, we'll make a stop." His smile widened, listening to the speaker. "Okay, will do. Thanks for the call, Patrick. And thank you again for coming. It meant a lot to have you there." He paused to listen. "You, too."

He ended the call and pocketed his phone. Catherine smiled at his happy expression as he leaned over and kissed her briefly.

"What's got you smiling?" she asked.

"That was Patrick Hart. He told me to kiss my wife."

She grinned.

"He called to thank us again for everything," Steve said. "I guess Sophia's been talking non-stop about all her 'friends' in Hawaii and asking when she can come back."

Catherine nodded. "I got a long email from Kelly. I think this trip was really, really good for them."

"That lunch and … and how they were when they stopped by at the barbecue …" he said, shaking his head in wonder. "It's just so different than the last phone call he and I had."

"The one before the wedding?"

He nodded. "Where he said they weren't coming, yeah. That one …" His brow knitted. "That one kind of reminded me of talking to him after Freddie died. Neither of us was really able to … to say what we wanted to say, you know?" His eyes clouded a little as he thought about that phone call almost six years ago.

 **2010**

" _The Navy … they won't tell me anything," Patrick said, his voice betraying his sadness and frustration. "What he was doing or … or even where."_

 _Steve sat on the couch, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his head down. "I'm sorry, sir."_

" _I've heard a lot of 'sorry's, Steve. I'm tired of 'sorry's."_

" _I know, sir. I'm sor–" he stopped himself from saying it again. "I wish … I wish there was something I could …" He sighed painfully, closing his eyes. When he opened them, they were rimmed in red. "I wish a lot of things," he said quietly._

" _Well,_ I _wish you could tell me more. That you could tell me something. Anything. If I knew something, maybe I … maybe it wouldn't … "_

 _Steve looked toward the ceiling, swallowing thickly._

" _I'm sorry that I can't, sir. I …" His voice trailed off, and he closed his eyes again, his head dropping. He blinked them open slowly and spoke again, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry I couldn't bring him back."_

 _There was a long pause before Patrick asked, "Was the mission … whatever it was … was it successful?"_

 _Steve was quiet, thinking about all that had happened after escaping North Korea._

" _We did what we were sent to do," he said finally._

" _That …" Patrick began, his voice breaking. "That was important to my son. To complete his mission. He wanted to be a good teammate."_

" _He was the best," Steve said emphatically._

 _Both men fell silent._

 _After a long minute, Patrick said, "I need to get back to Bonnie and Kelly."_

" _Of course," Steve said immediately._

 _Patrick paused again. "Steve … if there comes a time you_ can _tell me … "_

" _Yes, sir," Steve said, trying to keep his voice steady._

 _"Okay, then."_

 _The call ended, and Steve sat, staring at the phone in his hand, reliving the painful conversation and the memories of Freddie's sacrifice still so fresh in his consciousness._

 _His thumb hovered over the screen, knowing exactly what he wanted to do next, though his mind didn't want to admit how much he needed to._

 _He exhaled, navigating to a number and selecting it to dial. Putting the phone to his ear, he waited, closing his eyes as the familiar voice answered after just a few rings._

" _Steve, hey," Catherine said, heightened concern clear in her tone. He wasn't surprised to hear it. She had been the one to call him whenever she could since he'd told her about his father and Freddie. Not the other way around._

" _Cath," he breathed, shifting to rest his head on the back of the couch. Her voice … her name was a balm._

" _What's wrong? Did something else happen?"_

" _I … no, it's …" He stared at the ceiling, shaking his head slightly._

" _Steve," she pressed, but gently._

 _He hesitated a beat. "Just needed to hear your voice," he admitted quietly, eyes closing again as if he could convince himself she was there beside him._

" _What happened?"_

 _He took a deep breath and sat up. "I talked to Freddie's dad."_

" _Oh, Steve," she said sympathetically and paused. "How is he?"_

" _He's … he lost his son."_

 _Catherine was quiet for a moment. There was no response to the simple, heavy statement of fact._

" _And how are_ you? _" she asked after the long pause._

" _I'm fi–" he stopped, knowing she wouldn't believe it. "I lost my best friend."_

" _Steve …" she began, and he closed his eyes at the ache in her voice, mirroring what he felt in his heart. "We're in the Gulf, I don't know how soon I'll be able to get there."_

 _He sniffed, wiping at his eyes. "It's okay," he said. "Come on, you know I understand that."_

" _But I'll be there as soon as I possibly can," she continued. "Even if it's just for a couple days. I'll be there."_

" _I know you will," he said without hesitation, and meant every word._

Catherine sighed, touching his arm. "I hated that I couldn't be there for you when you had to make that phone call or for your dad's funeral or _–"_

He took her hand, cutting her off. "Hey, hey, don't do that. I know. I know, Cath. You would have been here if you could have. And you _were_ ," he emphasized. "Like you said, as soon as you possibly could, you were here." He shook his head. "I didn't … that's not why I brought it up. I brought it up because … I'm at a place where I can. Because I just had a really good phone call with the father of the man I loved like a brother and lost. And there was a time I didn't think that would ever happen."

She smiled softly, reaching out with her other hand and rubbing his arm.

"It took time," he said, "but … we got to a place where his family could come to our wedding and celebrate with us. Where we could have lunch and talk about Freddie. What we loved and what we missed."

Her smile grew. "Like how he was always the loudest one in the room."

He chuckled. "Yeah." His expression softened. "And the most loyal."

She nodded, smiling her agreement.

He tightened his fingers around hers. "Thank you for being there through all of it, Cath. Even when you weren't here …" he put her hand on his heart, "you were here."

She blinked at the tears in her eyes.

"Sometimes just hearing your voice …" he said.

"I know," she said quietly.

He shook his head. "There'll never be a time when I don't miss him. And I know they will, too. But it feels like I have them back in my life now. Thanks to time … and your persistence."

She reached up to touch his cheek. "I'm glad to have had even a little part in that."

"You had much more than a little part, Cath," he said sincerely.

He leaned down and kissed her, conveying his love and gratitude in the way he always had, though he had grown more comfortable voicing it as well.

The sound of padded feet moving past caused them to part, and they looked over to see Cammie waiting at the back door, looking back at them expectantly just as Steve's phone rang.

"I'll take her," Catherine said.

He nodded, and with a final soft kiss she moved away to let Cammie out. His phone was still ringing, and he smiled when he looked at the name on the screen.

"Mary, hey," he said, answering the call just before Catherine disappeared outside.

" _Hey, did we leave Joan's purple leggings at your house?_ " his sister asked.

"Yeah, they must have fallen off the drying rack in the laundry room. We found them earlier."

Mary sighed in relief. " _Oh good. She's been asking for them and I couldn't remember when she'd worn them last, then I realized it was during her little impromptu shower while she was playing with your tiles._ "

Steve smiled at the memory of his niece fully clothed in their shower, experimenting with the heat-sensitive tiles. "We'll ship them tomorrow."

" _No, no, don't go to any trouble, they're just leggings …"_

"We'll ship them tomorrow," he repeated.

She sighed, and he could hear the amused smile in her voice. " _Thanks, Uncle Steve._ "

He heard more voices in the background. "What are you guys up to?"

" _Aaron went out and got Rummikub so we'd have it here. They're all playing … well, trying to, anyway. Joan keeps flipping the tiles back over anytime someone puts them out. She says they're 'hiiiiding.'_ "

He laughed. "Grandma Ang'll have her playing for real in no time."

" _Yeah,_ " Mary said with a chuckle. _"I …_ " Her voice trailed off.

"What?"

The sounds in the background grew fainter as Mary moved away.

" _I just have to pinch myself sometimes. I've got family here._ _Family_ _, Steve._ "

He smiled at the note of wonder in his sister's voice, understanding it completely. "I know."

He turned slightly at the sound of the back door, seeing that Catherine had come back in with Cammie. She smiled as she approached, and he held out a hand when she was close enough to take it. He guided her arm around his back and wrapped his own around her shoulder. She leaned against him, her other sliding around his abdomen.

"It was really great having everybody here for the wedding," he continued. "It … it meant a lot. Sharing that day with the people we love … that's the way it should be."

Catherine's arms tightened around him, and he smiled at being able to voice the thoughts aloud.

" _We've come a long way, huh?_ " Mary said.

"You got that right," he said and pressed his lips to the top of Catherine's head.

Petulant sounds came from the background, and Mary sighed.

" _I gotta go. Rummikub has become tile flinging so I think that means it's someone's bedtime._ "

"Okay. Good to talk to you, Mare," he said sincerely.

" _You, too. Say goodnight to Catherine._ "

"Good night, Mary," Catherine called. "Give everyone a kiss from us."

" _Will do,_ " Mary replied, a grin in her voice.

"Bye," Steve said.

" _Bye._ "

He slid his phone back in his pocket and turned so he could wrap his arms more fully around Catherine.

"That's another phone call I couldn't imagine having a few years ago," he said, resting his cheek on her head.

She pulled back enough to look up at him. "Feels good, huh? Sharing those feelings?"

"Yeah," he said, a trace of amazement in his voice at just how good. He smiled at her. "I suppose you're gonna say you knew I'd get there."

"I knew it was in you. And I hoped … because I wanted that for you."

"You did more than hope, Cath. You never pushed, but you were there … showing me it was okay to … to be a little more open."

She smiled, nodding.

He pulled her close again, dropping his head to her shoulder.

"I love you," he whispered, sharing the ultimate feeling, and smiling to hear it whispered back.

"And I love you," she said, cradling the back of his head. "Always."

* * *

 **Hope you enjoyed!**

 _Keep track of all the REAL World stories on our Tumblr page - mcrollintherealworld at tumblr dot com - including a chronological list!_

 _You can still join our mailing list by emailing us realmcroll at yahoo dot com with Add me, please! in the subject line._

 _And find Mari on Twitter asking your opinions on all things McRoll in the REAL World! at Mari21763 and add #REALMcRoller_


End file.
